Characters/Ship: aespa Karina/Ningning Tags: shapeshifting, huli jing, escaping the horrors of an arranged marriage Permission to Remix: Yes -
Ever since she was a little girl, Yizhuo was told she was to marry. She was to marry to ensure the bloodline, to keep the steady flow of generations of new huli jing, because she has a role in this family and it is to be the vessel. Yizhuo, high on the naivety of childhood asked her elders about love; humans seemed to fall in love with them often and by chance, enchanted by the silver moonlight catching on the golden hair of their tails, but saw only quiet dread on the crimson-clad brides when they were tied together. The elders laughed at her for so long that Yizhuo's cheeks turned splotchy red, then they smiled down at her gently. You're confusing love to lust. Humans don't love us -- they need us similarly as we need them. But love between the likes of us will grow, but it's just a timid little thing.
Yizhuo bit her lips and stayed silent in the upcoming years. She learned to tear out the hearts of humans who pretended to love her, eat it hot and still beating to ensure the stability of her magic. Slowly, she adjusted to the adoration in their eyes turning into a flash of realization, just a heartbeat too late and each heart she had taken took some tender parts of her too.
Then the bethrottals began, presents after presents arriving to their household, making her mother and elders happy -- and then, Yizhuo cursed herself.
"A fox," people whisper behind their palms as Yizhuo slips through the market, the reddish hue of her fur making it easy to hide. "She turned herself into a simple fox and not even the head of the clan knows how to turn her back."
Yizhuo nips at the ankle of the gossipmonger. A year ago she turned herself into a fox, yes. But the clan knows how to turn her back, they just deem it impossible to do so -- her true love would be the key to the end of the curse.
But who would fall in love with a fox? Yizhuo looked at the calculated risks, and dived into the curse.
Yizhuo bounds away from the market; the crowd always makes her nervous. Stomping feet come way too close to her tail all the time, sudden screams about a fox from children stop the bustling market, then clammy hands grab for her, belatedly realizing it is the cursed girl and they drop her lithe body to the ground like the curse would leak out and also turn them into a fox. Finding a patch of fresh, green grass, she rolls around in it to get rid of the scent of humans on her body. It sticks to her, makes her nose itchy; the more time she spends in this body, the less inclined she is to ever return to her original one. That damned scent will follow her everywhere.
"Oh, hey. Little fox." Yizhuo jumps, the hair standing on her back, mouth showing all her teeth in a hiss. The woman, sitting just a few paces away from her, sits with her back to the bark of a tree. She tilts her head with a soft smile. "What a pretty little thing you are."
The thing is: Yizhuo is not used to not being feared. In her huli jing form people were afraid of the sight of her nine-tails, a learned reaction that was drowned out by their desire for her. In her fox form, people were afraid of her as if they were of a mere wild creature or if they knew she was, they were more afraid of her spewing her curse around. She bared her teeth more, snapping her jaw to light this fear in the stranger but she just laughs, patting the grass beside her.
"Did I scare you? I'm sorry about that," she says, not sounding sorry at all. She bites into something that makes one of Yizhuo's ears betray her in an interested flinch. Chewing with her cheek protruded, the woman offers her what seemed like dried meat. "Are you hungry?"
Yizhuo lets out a yap, planning to turn around and escape this peculiar woman. But then a piece of meat lands in front of her.
"Take it or don't," she says with a shrug.
And because Yizhuo is not dependent on charity, she flicks her nose towards the sky and turns away. As she’s leaving, the meadow is filled by the deep-bellied laughter of the woman.
***
"Hey, Little fox. You're back again."
Yizhuo growls -- it's her meadow. Her scent is rubbed all around them, on the barks of the trees, on the bushes, on the flowers. She, with deliberate hard work and discipline, scented the whole territory and hunted those who disrespected it for a whole year now. This woman, though, has no respect for it.
At least Yizhuo knows now that she offers no danger. It's just a weird woman who seems to lack self-preservation -- nothing to do with Yizhuo. So Yizhuo just ignores her, even though her tail gives away her annoyance by swinging left to right in a low angle, and curls up in her usual spot, warming her skin in the sunlight. People often whisper around her how awful this curse is – what they don’t know, how it’s a blessing in disguise. In her human form, she wouldn’t be allowed such a luxury. She would be too busy at the speed of her life to appreciate little moments like this.
“It’s nice, isn’t it?” The voice of the stranger is a thunder against the sun-warmed daze and Yizhuo blinks awake. She scooted closer as Yizhuo wasn’t paying attention and now she lays on her back, face turned towards Yizhuo as she tried to block the sun from shining in her eyes. Catching Yizhuo’s eyes on her, she pushes herself on her elbows and points with her chin towards a small heap in the shadows.
“I’m sorry I just threw the half-chewed food at you yesterday. I brought those for you.”
Yizhuo stands, yawns and stretches her legs. Hopeful eyes rest on her, but then Yizhuo plops down with her back to her, she gives out a long sigh.
“Little fox, you’re making me work for it, don’t you?” she lets out an amused huff. “I’m Jimin, by the way. If you were curious.”
Yizhuo wasn’t. A year without company is a time enough to accept solitude. To appreciate the silence, the echo of one’s thoughts. To find solace in it. This human just decided that just because she cannot speak, she needs to hear her constant stream of thoughts.
“I’m lucky I ran into you,” Jimin starts, her voice growing drowsy and as Yizhuo lifts her head to look at her, she finds her eyes closed as she talks. “I came all the way for a proposal but turns out I’m a tad bit too late. Now, I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do. Travel all the way back? That won’t do.”
Jimin falls asleep while Yizhuo tries to figure out which maiden should’ve been meant for Jimin.
***
Yizhuo grows to expect Jimin to show up the next day, and after and after and after – and she always does. It’s a habit that grows, a sort of test of patience for both of them. She sits at the tree or lays on the ground just far enough not to touch Yizhuo and she talks about her home, about her clan of gumiho, the distaste for the violence their blood carries. She has a nice voice and has nice words that make Yizhuo warmer than the sunlight. Jimin brings her treats or halves her food to share with Yizhuo.
She breaks a bao in half, the fragrant scent of the meat inside makes a small yap escape from the back of Yizhuo’s throat. Jimin laughs and offers her the half, and Yizhuo clumsily takes it, mouth touching Jimin’s gentle fingers.
For a few seconds Jimin just watches her eat. Nipping at the soft dough and the softer meat, she doesn’t notice the hand reached out above her. Yizhuo freezes at the feather-light touch, the fingertips pressing to her fur, then blunt fingernails scraping at her skull, at the back of her ears. Yizhuo turns towards her and catches her hand between her teeth, but she can’t bring herself to bite down on the tender skin. When she lets go, the indents of her teeth are visible and she gives a gentle lick as an apology.
“No need for an apology between us, Little Fox. We’re friends after all.”
Yizhuo lets out a small growl, disliking the idea. Jimin just offers her the other half of the bao but it’s a red herring because as soon as Yizhuo is busy tearing it apart, Jimin’s fingers return to her pelt, drawing shapes onto her skin. This time, Yizhuo lets her.
***
"I heard about a girl who cursed herself into being a fox to escape a loveless marriage. Don't you think that's a very brave thing to do?" Jimin smiles, dimples craving into her cheeks, and Yizhuo is blinded by it for a second to realize in time Jimin's meaningful look. She’s curled into Jimin’s side as the weather has taken a colder turn and Jimin’s hand is on her back, but the warmth drains from her immediately. “She was supposed to be my bethrotted but a letter came about her curse. Imagine my surprise, realizing she’s not cursed at all.”
Yizhuo snaps her head towards her. She expects hatred, expects sadness. Something in between. Whatever she expected were to be incorrigible at the enormity of her lies; and Yizhuo knew better than to get attached. Love, however gentle or platonic, is just a ficke emotion. She wanted to save herself, for she knew her heart is too tender to survive a marriage not built on love. She’d have imagined herself falling for her spouse, but the thought of not being loved back created such a dissonance in her that she needed an escape.
But Jimin doesn’t look angry. Nor sad. Nor hateful. She looks at her with understanding shining in her eyes and it’s much more than Yizhuo has ever imagined to get after being discovered. The grace of it alone makes her stay close to Jimin for a bit more time.
“As it happens, the moment I got to know about the curse, I locked myself in our clan’s library. I read a lot about curses and curses breaking and – I tried everything with you. I wrote the right words on your skin, made you eat the right kind of herbs, kept trying to break the curse when I realized. It’s not a curse. It’s your choice.” Jimin lets out a little puff of laughter, tugging at one of Yizhuo’s ears. “Brilliant, I have to say. No one is the wiser and you got your peace of mind.”
Jimin gathers Yizhuo’s face in her palms. She breathes a small kiss on the top of her nose, eyes twinkling like morning stars.
“Your secret is safe with me. But do know – you have a choice. You don’t have to marry me, you don’t have to remain a fox and don’t have to turn back to human either. We’ll come up with a solution however you imagine your future.”
Yizhuo’s first reaction would always be to pull away. Because: it’s easier to remove herself from a situation than face something of herself she wouldn’t like. To brave the season and the heartbreak of a loveless marriage. To face Jimin’s pretty smile, compassionate eyes, heart on her sleeves. Except, Yizhuo stays put, nudging closer to the warmth radiating from Jimin’s palm.
That’s what she’s always wanted: options. Her opinion to matter, to be offered some semblance of a chance to form the mold of her life into her liking. She bluffed the past year, showing an intricate curse she made up, a clause that she never expected to come true. Love was something Yizhuo cradled close to her heart, ached for it and refused to live life without the sign of it. At least, not on other people’ terms. When she shifted into a fox, she gave up her hope because – who would fall in love with a fox?
But now, a myriad of options are offered for her now by Jimin, but one thing that picked her attention is – Jimin is meant to stay.
“You brave, brave girl,” Jimin whispered, palm caressing the top of Yizhuo’s head.
After a year spent in her fox form, turning into a human feels like popping back a joint in place. Breath stuck in her lungs, she slowly exhales through her nose and blinks her eyes open. The abundance of colors make her wince, but from her blurry vision a face draws out. Jimin is still holding onto her, Yizhuo’s cheeks cupped in her warm palms and now she can feel the roughness of her hands on her skin, the true heat of it. Jimin’s face crumples with awe.
Yizhuo opens her mouth but nothing comes out of it. Then she clears her throat, and forces the word on her tongue. “Jimin.”
A half-smile curls on the corner of Jimin’s mouth. “Yes, Little Fox?”
“Maybe,” Yizhuo starts, thinking. She didn't really think much about the future; a life spent in her fox form would've been a blessing and a curse at the same time. Now, she might want to try something else. “Maybe let us stay like this for a bit. Then figure it out. But don’t tell the clan yet.”
“As you wish.” Jimin tugs a stray black strand, then tucks it behind her ear. The motion is so tender, it makes Yizhuo’s heart weep. “I brought some food for you, care to have some?”
Yizhuo thinks, as her blunt teeth sink into the soft meat and as vegetables crunch under her molars, their knees touching and Jimin stealing quick glances at her like she cannot believe all of this is real, that some things are worth the wait. This is one of them.
[FILL] but who could stay
Tags: shapeshifting, huli jing, escaping the horrors of an arranged marriage
Permission to Remix: Yes
-
Ever since she was a little girl, Yizhuo was told she was to marry. She was to marry to ensure the bloodline, to keep the steady flow of generations of new huli jing, because she has a role in this family and it is to be the vessel. Yizhuo, high on the naivety of childhood asked her elders about love; humans seemed to fall in love with them often and by chance, enchanted by the silver moonlight catching on the golden hair of their tails, but saw only quiet dread on the crimson-clad brides when they were tied together. The elders laughed at her for so long that Yizhuo's cheeks turned splotchy red, then they smiled down at her gently. You're confusing love to lust. Humans don't love us -- they need us similarly as we need them. But love between the likes of us will grow, but it's just a timid little thing.
Yizhuo bit her lips and stayed silent in the upcoming years. She learned to tear out the hearts of humans who pretended to love her, eat it hot and still beating to ensure the stability of her magic. Slowly, she adjusted to the adoration in their eyes turning into a flash of realization, just a heartbeat too late and each heart she had taken took some tender parts of her too.
Then the bethrottals began, presents after presents arriving to their household, making her mother and elders happy -- and then, Yizhuo cursed herself.
"A fox," people whisper behind their palms as Yizhuo slips through the market, the reddish hue of her fur making it easy to hide. "She turned herself into a simple fox and not even the head of the clan knows how to turn her back."
Yizhuo nips at the ankle of the gossipmonger. A year ago she turned herself into a fox, yes. But the clan knows how to turn her back, they just deem it impossible to do so -- her true love would be the key to the end of the curse.
But who would fall in love with a fox? Yizhuo looked at the calculated risks, and dived into the curse.
Yizhuo bounds away from the market; the crowd always makes her nervous. Stomping feet come way too close to her tail all the time, sudden screams about a fox from children stop the bustling market, then clammy hands grab for her, belatedly realizing it is the cursed girl and they drop her lithe body to the ground like the curse would leak out and also turn them into a fox. Finding a patch of fresh, green grass, she rolls around in it to get rid of the scent of humans on her body. It sticks to her, makes her nose itchy; the more time she spends in this body, the less inclined she is to ever return to her original one. That damned scent will follow her everywhere.
"Oh, hey. Little fox." Yizhuo jumps, the hair standing on her back, mouth showing all her teeth in a hiss. The woman, sitting just a few paces away from her, sits with her back to the bark of a tree. She tilts her head with a soft smile. "What a pretty little thing you are."
The thing is: Yizhuo is not used to not being feared. In her huli jing form people were afraid of the sight of her nine-tails, a learned reaction that was drowned out by their desire for her. In her fox form, people were afraid of her as if they were of a mere wild creature or if they knew she was, they were more afraid of her spewing her curse around. She bared her teeth more, snapping her jaw to light this fear in the stranger but she just laughs, patting the grass beside her.
"Did I scare you? I'm sorry about that," she says, not sounding sorry at all. She bites into something that makes one of Yizhuo's ears betray her in an interested flinch. Chewing with her cheek protruded, the woman offers her what seemed like dried meat. "Are you hungry?"
Yizhuo lets out a yap, planning to turn around and escape this peculiar woman. But then a piece of meat lands in front of her.
"Take it or don't," she says with a shrug.
And because Yizhuo is not dependent on charity, she flicks her nose towards the sky and turns away. As she’s leaving, the meadow is filled by the deep-bellied laughter of the woman.
***
"Hey, Little fox. You're back again."
Yizhuo growls -- it's her meadow. Her scent is rubbed all around them, on the barks of the trees, on the bushes, on the flowers. She, with deliberate hard work and discipline, scented the whole territory and hunted those who disrespected it for a whole year now. This woman, though, has no respect for it.
At least Yizhuo knows now that she offers no danger. It's just a weird woman who seems to lack self-preservation -- nothing to do with Yizhuo. So Yizhuo just ignores her, even though her tail gives away her annoyance by swinging left to right in a low angle, and curls up in her usual spot, warming her skin in the sunlight. People often whisper around her how awful this curse is – what they don’t know, how it’s a blessing in disguise. In her human form, she wouldn’t be allowed such a luxury. She would be too busy at the speed of her life to appreciate little moments like this.
“It’s nice, isn’t it?” The voice of the stranger is a thunder against the sun-warmed daze and Yizhuo blinks awake. She scooted closer as Yizhuo wasn’t paying attention and now she lays on her back, face turned towards Yizhuo as she tried to block the sun from shining in her eyes. Catching Yizhuo’s eyes on her, she pushes herself on her elbows and points with her chin towards a small heap in the shadows.
“I’m sorry I just threw the half-chewed food at you yesterday. I brought those for you.”
Yizhuo stands, yawns and stretches her legs. Hopeful eyes rest on her, but then Yizhuo plops down with her back to her, she gives out a long sigh.
“Little fox, you’re making me work for it, don’t you?” she lets out an amused huff. “I’m Jimin, by the way. If you were curious.”
Yizhuo wasn’t. A year without company is a time enough to accept solitude. To appreciate the silence, the echo of one’s thoughts. To find solace in it. This human just decided that just because she cannot speak, she needs to hear her constant stream of thoughts.
“I’m lucky I ran into you,” Jimin starts, her voice growing drowsy and as Yizhuo lifts her head to look at her, she finds her eyes closed as she talks. “I came all the way for a proposal but turns out I’m a tad bit too late. Now, I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do. Travel all the way back? That won’t do.”
Jimin falls asleep while Yizhuo tries to figure out which maiden should’ve been meant for Jimin.
***
Yizhuo grows to expect Jimin to show up the next day, and after and after and after – and she always does. It’s a habit that grows, a sort of test of patience for both of them. She sits at the tree or lays on the ground just far enough not to touch Yizhuo and she talks about her home, about her clan of gumiho, the distaste for the violence their blood carries. She has a nice voice and has nice words that make Yizhuo warmer than the sunlight. Jimin brings her treats or halves her food to share with Yizhuo.
She breaks a bao in half, the fragrant scent of the meat inside makes a small yap escape from the back of Yizhuo’s throat. Jimin laughs and offers her the half, and Yizhuo clumsily takes it, mouth touching Jimin’s gentle fingers.
For a few seconds Jimin just watches her eat. Nipping at the soft dough and the softer meat, she doesn’t notice the hand reached out above her. Yizhuo freezes at the feather-light touch, the fingertips pressing to her fur, then blunt fingernails scraping at her skull, at the back of her ears. Yizhuo turns towards her and catches her hand between her teeth, but she can’t bring herself to bite down on the tender skin. When she lets go, the indents of her teeth are visible and she gives a gentle lick as an apology.
“No need for an apology between us, Little Fox. We’re friends after all.”
Yizhuo lets out a small growl, disliking the idea. Jimin just offers her the other half of the bao but it’s a red herring because as soon as Yizhuo is busy tearing it apart, Jimin’s fingers return to her pelt, drawing shapes onto her skin. This time, Yizhuo lets her.
***
"I heard about a girl who cursed herself into being a fox to escape a loveless marriage. Don't you think that's a very brave thing to do?" Jimin smiles, dimples craving into her cheeks, and Yizhuo is blinded by it for a second to realize in time Jimin's meaningful look. She’s curled into Jimin’s side as the weather has taken a colder turn and Jimin’s hand is on her back, but the warmth drains from her immediately. “She was supposed to be my bethrotted but a letter came about her curse. Imagine my surprise, realizing she’s not cursed at all.”
Yizhuo snaps her head towards her. She expects hatred, expects sadness. Something in between. Whatever she expected were to be incorrigible at the enormity of her lies; and Yizhuo knew better than to get attached. Love, however gentle or platonic, is just a ficke emotion. She wanted to save herself, for she knew her heart is too tender to survive a marriage not built on love. She’d have imagined herself falling for her spouse, but the thought of not being loved back created such a dissonance in her that she needed an escape.
But Jimin doesn’t look angry. Nor sad. Nor hateful. She looks at her with understanding shining in her eyes and it’s much more than Yizhuo has ever imagined to get after being discovered. The grace of it alone makes her stay close to Jimin for a bit more time.
“As it happens, the moment I got to know about the curse, I locked myself in our clan’s library. I read a lot about curses and curses breaking and – I tried everything with you. I wrote the right words on your skin, made you eat the right kind of herbs, kept trying to break the curse when I realized. It’s not a curse. It’s your choice.” Jimin lets out a little puff of laughter, tugging at one of Yizhuo’s ears. “Brilliant, I have to say. No one is the wiser and you got your peace of mind.”
Jimin gathers Yizhuo’s face in her palms. She breathes a small kiss on the top of her nose, eyes twinkling like morning stars.
“Your secret is safe with me. But do know – you have a choice. You don’t have to marry me, you don’t have to remain a fox and don’t have to turn back to human either. We’ll come up with a solution however you imagine your future.”
Yizhuo’s first reaction would always be to pull away. Because: it’s easier to remove herself from a situation than face something of herself she wouldn’t like. To brave the season and the heartbreak of a loveless marriage. To face Jimin’s pretty smile, compassionate eyes, heart on her sleeves. Except, Yizhuo stays put, nudging closer to the warmth radiating from Jimin’s palm.
That’s what she’s always wanted: options. Her opinion to matter, to be offered some semblance of a chance to form the mold of her life into her liking. She bluffed the past year, showing an intricate curse she made up, a clause that she never expected to come true. Love was something Yizhuo cradled close to her heart, ached for it and refused to live life without the sign of it. At least, not on other people’ terms. When she shifted into a fox, she gave up her hope because – who would fall in love with a fox?
But now, a myriad of options are offered for her now by Jimin, but one thing that picked her attention is – Jimin is meant to stay.
“You brave, brave girl,” Jimin whispered, palm caressing the top of Yizhuo’s head.
After a year spent in her fox form, turning into a human feels like popping back a joint in place. Breath stuck in her lungs, she slowly exhales through her nose and blinks her eyes open. The abundance of colors make her wince, but from her blurry vision a face draws out. Jimin is still holding onto her, Yizhuo’s cheeks cupped in her warm palms and now she can feel the roughness of her hands on her skin, the true heat of it. Jimin’s face crumples with awe.
Yizhuo opens her mouth but nothing comes out of it. Then she clears her throat, and forces the word on her tongue. “Jimin.”
A half-smile curls on the corner of Jimin’s mouth. “Yes, Little Fox?”
“Maybe,” Yizhuo starts, thinking. She didn't really think much about the future; a life spent in her fox form would've been a blessing and a curse at the same time. Now, she might want to try something else. “Maybe let us stay like this for a bit. Then figure it out. But don’t tell the clan yet.”
“As you wish.” Jimin tugs a stray black strand, then tucks it behind her ear. The motion is so tender, it makes Yizhuo’s heart weep. “I brought some food for you, care to have some?”
Yizhuo thinks, as her blunt teeth sink into the soft meat and as vegetables crunch under her molars, their knees touching and Jimin stealing quick glances at her like she cannot believe all of this is real, that some things are worth the wait. This is one of them.